Skip to main content

Pencils Down


Pencils Down

The paper is in front of me,
problem number one,
It's the easy one.

 I rush through it, because I know all the answers.
But I never hear the right answer, because I am too busy saying "I am right".
So then I give up and I move on,
but this problem has more steps, more thinking, 
and my mind is still on the first problem
and I keep adding more mistakes...
more problems.

So I slow down, try to understand all the problems,
try to solve it in my head,
but now there are too many problems,
and I don't know where to start.

Are  the edges of the page getting sharp?
Are the lines on the page sticking to my skin,
the skin covered in panic,
the skin covered in tears.
I can't keep track of which problem I am on,
I'm still on the first one, 
and I can't stop looking at it.
I'm avoiding everything else on this page,
"My answers are stupid!"
I start to erase,
and rewrite what I think,
but I can't take my answer back now,
I can't change the scratches, marks, and holes I have made in this test.
I can't take back the space that was wasted.
I can't erase the words that I wrote.
I can't explain all of my excuses...

"Pencils Down"

Because the time is up. 

-Belle Rose

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Feel

I hope your heart, will spin out of control Dizzy and sick, falling in a deep hole. Deep in sadness, always never enough Losing your worth, not a diamond, but rough.  I hope you cry, until your brown eyes close Dream then wake up, by a thorn of a rose. Smile all day, then feel low when alone Hear one song, then feel the cuts that were sown. Smell memories, of fresh cookies and love vanilla, fruit, or all of the above.  But most of all, I pray that you can heal My broken heart does not want you to feel... How I feel.  -Belle Rose 

Ink

I'm only writing because I have an urge. And all of these feelings, I will have to submerge. From the guilt after, telling someone my pain. The embarrassment, of my my borderline brain. The insecure lies, my anxiety finds. The weak side of me, reattached to their minds. When I'm all alone, those caring voices sink Today I'll save me, It's better done in ink. -Belle Rose

Alone

Alone This has happened before, fighting on my own. Self-hatred and sadness, thin marks, and bruised bone. The urges still haunt me, I see red and relief  The pain still controls me, that old friend, a thief. Stealing my sanity, my strength, my progress My brush needs a canvas ,I'll gently  caress  I have missed you, master,  the love you have shown. Convincing and charming, making me feel alone. Belle Rose