Inconvenient

I never missed this feeling.

I thought I scared it away.

I was finally okay.

Happy.

Confident.

Beautiful.

But it found me.

At the most inconvenient time.

When he is not here.

When I can't talk to him everyday.

When I can't write him a simple note.

I know he'll listen,

I know he'll care,

but it feels like day one.

I'm afraid to tell him...again.

How the hell am I supposed to defeat this without him?

-Belle Rose

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2009-2010

"You tore me apart, just look at my scars. Your clouds and hatred covered my bright stars." -Belle Rose

Emotionally unintelligent, unsympathetic and cruel. Self destructive, dangerous monster, definition of a fool. Unstable, insecure, and child-like, full of unbearable traits. An untreatable virus, infection, Bitch, holding you down like weights. Defensive, insane and manipulative, distorting reality. Selfish, conversations unproductive, immature, too care-free. I made a mistake, now I am immoral, fist down, I learned not to fight. I'm an asshole, a terrible person, don't fret, you are, again, right. -Belle Rose

Alone

Alone This has happened before, fighting on my own. Self-hatred and sadness, thin marks, and bruised bone. The urges still haunt me, I see red and relief The pain still controls me, that old friend, a thief. Stealing my sanity, my strength, my progress My brush needs a canvas ,I'll gently caress I have missed you, master, the love you have shown. Convincing and charming, making me feel alone. Belle Rose

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Inconvenient

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