January 2009

Why did I say yes, when I practiced saying no?

Every day.

Every hour.

Every minute.

I kept telling myself to say no the whole time in my head,
but I still said yes..

For love.
For confidence.
For feeling beautiful.
Did I gain any of that?
It wasn't worth it.
Now I am broken,revealed, and ashamed.

I must be defeated, weak, and scarred,

because I am full of regret and guilt.

I don't have any strength or confidence.

I hate myself. I hate this night.

I hate this scar. I hate this feeling.

And now he knows everything about me.

And no matter what happens, 

he will always know.
I am now attached to this nightmare. 

Because I didn't say no.

-Belle Rose