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January 2009


Why did I say yes, when I practiced saying no?
Every day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
I kept telling myself to say no the whole time in my head,
but I still said yes..
For love.
For confidence.
For feeling beautiful.
Did I gain any of that?
It wasn't worth it.
Now I am broken,revealed, and ashamed.

I must be defeated, weak, and scarred,
because I am full of regret and guilt.
I don't have any strength or confidence.
I hate myself. I hate this night.
I hate this scar. I hate this feeling.

And now he knows everything about me.
And no matter what happens, 
he will always know.
I am now attached to this nightmare. 

Because I didn't say no.

-Belle Rose

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