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Dear Diary...

    

Why I will not get out of bed
Abandoning my bed would be like torturing my heart. Opening my eyes would kidnap my sight, blinding 
my reasons to face my unreachable goals.So why should I risk my happiness for the impossible, and 
regrettably watch reality murder all of my motivation? Isolation will end the pain. The pain that haunts
me every time I take a step into reality, which replaces my hope with everlasting failure. Waking up
to expectations that cannot be achieved is pointless. Forcing myself to wake up would defeat the
purpose of looking forward to a new day; But what if new days don't exist? What if the realization
that follows you and betrays you never really ends, and all of your fear continues into one hopeless,
unbearable, miserable, and unworthy day?

-Belle Rose


Questioning the Unanswered
I desire what I should not want or have. Hesitating to obtain something special that I never dreamed of 
obtaining, but now I cannot stop dreaming. Leaving all of this to fade would be a crime. Abusing this 
situation could hurt the innocent. I never, in any way, guessed that this particular problem would occur or 
even exist in my young and challenging four years of preparing for the future. Focusing on this dilemma is
forcing me to damage the one thing that has made me happy for most of my life.

What should I do? Assassinate the whole idea of happiness, or just keep lying to myself about
what in actuality makes me extremely happy? This answer, I cannot avoid. I cannot forget about
it, and only lose a little sanity. I either answer it, or kill someone with my mistake. One person will 
perish regardless; however, the difference between how tragic their death is remains a mystery.
Vanquishing this problem is hurtful no matter what way I choose to go. How do I answer this question?
Yes? No? Answer not available? Is that a valid answer?

-Belle Rose

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