Skip to main content

Control


Control
Depressed,
Lonely, 
Scarred and Rejected.
I cannot Control how I am affected.

The mean and brutal comments, and the words
that cut me deep,
sometimes shallow, but it is enough to make me bleed.

I remember everything, when I look in the mirror.
I see the words on my body, and the temporary damage.

Temporary--
The marks are gone, but the emotions stay.
Permanent. Forever.
Always there to strangle my confidence.
It will never let me go.

Thoughts are damaging my vulnerable mind;
I am lying on the floor,
Next to my sharpest friend

My controlling friend.

I cannot Control how I am affected...

-Belle Rose




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Excellent Auburn Jewel

Dear Washington, You consumed my joy yet you also added smile You stole my proof-- Proof that there is such thing as fate, that there is such thing as defeating one's fears, and meeting your wish, on the road to Damascus. Take care of my joy, my wish Take care of my Friend

Alone

Alone This has happened before, fighting on my own. Self-hatred and sadness, thin marks, and bruised bone. The urges still haunt me, I see red and relief  The pain still controls me, that old friend, a thief. Stealing my sanity, my strength, my progress My brush needs a canvas ,I'll gently  caress  I have missed you, master,  the love you have shown. Convincing and charming, making me feel alone. Belle Rose 

Memories

Boxed up with a bow, gift beautiful, secure wrapped in soft cloth, feeling happy and sure. Now the tape is torn,not well kept together cut open with holes, tossed like a weak feather.  The gift is shattered, but remains in that box damaged, unworthy, weighed down by giant rocks.  Rocks that dent the shape, that was rebuilt so well admired gently, ringing praises like a bell.  Fixed way too quickly, ripped apart in pieces scattered everywhere, the burden increases. Swept up in one scoop, little noise to the ears. Swept up in one day, a gift wrapped for eight years. -Belle Rose